


sword at his neck

by tinycrown



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Off-Screen Execution, an oc i made respects his firelord, even if its twisted, i like to think that under alllll the layers of shitty dad ozai cares just a little bit, its all gucci, kinda lowkey zukka, ozai kind of cares?, sokka is a good bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 09:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21426337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinycrown/pseuds/tinycrown
Summary: “After all of their bickering and telling me how many ways they want to murder my father, they’ve finally decided what to do with him.”or; Ozai's execution is settled between the outspoken leaders of the world against Aang's wishes.Zuko can't really handle it.
Relationships: Ozai & Zuko, Zuko & Iroh, Zuko & Sokka
Comments: 31
Kudos: 449





	sword at his neck

“After all of their bickering and telling me how many ways they want to murder my father, they’ve finally decided what to do with him.”  
“Finally? It’s been three years!” Sokka exclaimed, nearly dropping his tea as Zuko regarded his friends, something sad behind his eyes. 

“Have you visited him lately?” Iroh asked, placing a hand upon his shoulder as he set a warm ceramic cup down in front of him. His hand didn’t leave, and Zuko reached up to cover it with his own. 

“Yes.” 

“How was he?” Zuko’s grip tightened on Iroh’s hand as he peered down into his cup. 

“He… he wouldn’t say anything to me,” Zuko’s voice became wobbly, “Usually he just likes to yell at me or try to make me angry, but… but he was just  _ lifeless _ .” And it hurt. It hurt a lot to see his father like that, no matter how much he’d hurt Zuko, the young firebender seemed to always care too much. He still loved his father, though he didn’t like to admit it. 

“At least he’s alive, Zuko. Ozai’s still a person!” sixteen-year-old Aang folded his arms, the boy who outright refused to kill his father and instead took his bending, leaving him to waste away for four years of his life, now to be publicly executed.

“No. He’s not. You should have killed him, Aang,  _ you should have just killed him! _ ” Zuko let his head fall into his hands as Sokka rubbed his back. The Firelord was crying, little ripples in his tea confirming it. “He’s a bad person, but now I have to  _ watch _ as they  _ execute him _ and he’s still my father and some  _ stupid _ part of me  _ still loves him _ !” Thank the spirits the tea shop was empty, closed down after Zuko arrived from his meetings with the other leaders in Ba Sing Se. He looked unhappy. He  _ was _ unhappy. Iroh sent out his last few patrons and left only the avatar and his friends. 

“You don’t  _ have _ to be there, do you?” Toph asked, concerned. 

“Yes. I have to. They’re forcing me to do it- because if I don't, then I’m not _ loyal _ to the Nations.” His voice broke as he stood up, nearly pushing his uncle. He shot him an apologetic look and began to pace. “I don’t want to. I don’t want to go. I can’t.” He began to hyperventilate, not caring if his friends saw him being so weak, so fragile. 

“They can’t do that, that’s-” 

“They have every right.” Zuko interrupted her quietly. “After everything the Fire Nation has done, the only way they can really trust me is if I do what they want. The… The Yu Dao incident set us back quite a ways… King Kuei is nice, though.”

“What about Dad?” Katara asked, hesitating to comfort him right away. 

“I…” he didn’t want to tell Katara that Hakoda told him that though it was heartbreaking for Zuko, his father deserved every bit of time in prison and even more than that. Zuko hadn’t said anything back, he didn’t blame Hakoda for being angry, he just wished that he wasn’t stupid enough to feel so horrible about his father being stripped away and then left for dead. It didn’t sit right with him. “I don’t think he cares that much about how I feel. He just hates my father.”

“Dad wouldn’t want to see you suffer.”  
“Anger changes people. I’ve never seen Chief Hakoda look so upset.” Zuko disagreed, the lump in his throat making it hard to breathe.

“I wasn’t told about this,” Aang said, his face hard. He’d grown quite a bit. Sixteen, and already taller than Zuko. Was it true that all nomads were like that? “Execution?” 

“A public execution, and everyone’s eager to watch,” Zuko said, paling. 

“ _ Public _ execution? Zuko, someone could attempt to kill you and be away with Ozai!” Toph nearly yelled, slamming her hands down on the table.

“They’re planning on asking you and your new Dai Li to watch over the whole thing on high security. So be prepared.” Zuko said, rubbing his hand over his chest to calm his heartbeat. 

“Zuko, you need to calm down, otherwise you’ll have a panic-induced heart attack or something.”

“I  _ can’t _ , I can’t watch them kill him!” 

“Weren’t you the one who told me to kill him in the first place?” 

“It would have been merciful other than torturing him!” 

“What?” Aang looked bewildered, “ _ Torture _ \- taking someone’s bending isn’t  _ torture _ -”

“When a firebender’s chi is cut off, it’s  _ agony _ . When you can’t feel the sun,  _ it’s agony _ \- everything hurts, Aang, it’s torture! He’s probably  _ more insane _ than he was four years ago and it’s all because I wasn’t strong enough to kill him when I had the chance!” Zuko felt wetness drip off of his chin, but he ignored it- ignored the shocked looks from his friends. He’d never cried in front of them before. “You’re right, I should have never asked you to kill him,” Zuko admitted softly, “but it would have been better to do that than make me watch him slowly  _ die _ .” 

“You don’t- Zuko I thought you  _ hated  _ him?” Katara asked, nearly unable to resist staving off her desire to come to Aang’s defense, but ultimately deciding against it, knowing that her friend was in a fragile state at the moment. She too would act irrationally if she had no choice than to watch her closest friends or family die.

“I do. But… he’s still my father. He’s  _ my family _ . And even if I hate him…” 

“You still care very much about the people who have wronged you all your life, my dear nephew.” Iroh sipped the tea he had set out for Zuko. “I would scold you for it if you had any control over that.” Zuko flinched and pressed a fist over his mouth, yearning to bite down on it until he bled. 

“If it’s okay to ask…” Aang started tentatively, “what did Ozai do to you? I mean, everyone hates him for a reason. But you hate him and you  _ love _ him? I don’t get it.” Zuko stopped pacing and touched his scarred eye. It wasn’t just that. It was  _ so much more _ . He turned and reluctantly kneeled down beside his uncle, accepting another cup of tea before nearly downing it like a shot. 

“Father has always hated me,” his eyes drew downcast as he rested his elbows on the table. “I was born really early and in the winter, too, so I was pretty frail for a firstborn- fourth in line to the throne at the time, which could be seen as disgraceful. I didn’t have the spark of a firebender at first, either, so he wanted to kill me right then and there too. But… my mother and the Fire Sages saved me and convinced him to give me a chance.”

“He was going to  _ what? _ ” Iroh asked incredulously, nearly dropping his cup. Zuko ignored that. 

“When it did turn out that I was a firebender he was happy, but I wasn’t good. I was terrible at it. By the time I was seven and Azula was five, she had already begun bending while I hadn’t produced sparks until I was six. As we got older… he always thought I was weak and he never really seemed to care much about me, instead, he just kept training my sister to get better. A little while before Mother went missing Uncle took me to master Piandao to learn sword training since he knew I couldn’t firebend that well. Father hated that. A lot. He didn’t like fighting with material weapons because he thought that it was weak.” 

“But- but you’re an  _ amazing _ bender and sword fighter!” Aang protested. 

“That’s because the only time I was really trained was with Uncle after I was banished. My tutors back home were always more focused on Azula, so I tried to train myself... But I didn’t really know how, so I was always lagging behind her in skill. After my dual broadsword training, I could definitely kick her ass into next week, though, then my father banned me from training with them anymore after I made a fool of her. The only thing Azula and I were equal in was hand-to-hand combat. We couldn’t really ever beat each other in that.” 

“Even before Mother disappeared, he’d always…” Zuko clenched his fists, “he’d…” 

“What did he do?” Iroh demanded, shocking the avatar. Even Iroh barely knew about his relationship with Ozai? He thought that Uncle knew everything...

“He used to hit me a lot, or burn me- same thing, I guess. He’s broken a few of my bones, I think that was more intimidation than quote, ‘motivation’,” Iroh nearly growled as his cup cracked. 

“So when you came to visit me at eight years old you told me Azula pushed you out of a tree, but instead it was my brother who had snapped your arm like a twig?” Iroh spat, upset that Zuko ever felt the need to hide it from him. He was so young and miserable when he came into the courtyard looking like a mess with a black arm-cradle tied around his shoulder, in pain without any medication. Zuko looked exasperated. 

“Yes, Uncle.” He caught his look, “Please, don’t blame yourself. Mother didn’t even know.” 

“Did he give you that scar?” Sokka asked, pitching his hand forward and squeezing Zuko’s. The Firelord flinched and touched it. 

“Uncle let me into a war meeting once with the promise of keeping my big mouth shut. I broke that promise and spoke out against an esteemed general proposing a plan to use the 41st division- full of  _ recruits _ \- as bait against the Earth Kingdom. It was a suicide mission. When I told him that it was a wrong way of using their patriotism, I accepted an Agni Kai against him thinking that I would be fighting the general. I was  _ not _ fighting the general. I was supposed to fight Father because I was in his war meeting. I…” He squeezed his eyes shut at the memory. “I begged for mercy- I didn’t  _ want _ to fight him, I couldn’t because I cared too much and If I did fight him and I hurt him or something… I never would have been able to forgive myself.”

“I was crying, I think, and he reached down to me like he was going to help me up, or, or wipe my face or  _ something _ but he just…”

He reached out his trembling hand and struggled to find his inner flame before a ball of fire violently erupted in his palm.

It took a few moments to die down.

“I woke up a few days later on a ship. And I couldn’t go home until I had found the avatar. That was six years ago.” 

“ _ You were thirteen years old?! _ ” Erupted Katara, her face tightly screwed in emotion that was hard to describe. Zuko nodded grimly and continued to rub his fingers against his scarred cheek. 

“So then why do you still love him, after everything? Didn’t he try to kill you again on the day of the Black Sun?” Toph asked, her ears perked. 

“When… when I went home, after Ba Sing Se… even though Azula lied, Father told me that… that he was wrong, all these years- and he said it  _ genuinely _ , okay?” Zuko didn’t like to think about how ‘genuine’ his father was, if the man could be at all, “he said that he was proud of who I was, and… and that he regretted banishing me. He said that he wished that he could have… he said that maybe if he’d paid more attention to me then I could have been better much faster, but… Uncle-” he reached over blindly for him and covered his eyes for a second. 

Iroh took his pale hand in his own tightly and rubbed his arm. His voice broke as he tried to speak again. 

“Uncle, he said he loved me.” Zuko broke down into bitter tears, burying his head in his elbow on the table while his shoulders shook violently. 

Iroh held his hand tightly and ran his fingers through his long hair. 

“Zuko… do you truly believe that he was genuine, or was that how you wanted it to feel?”

“I…” 

“Did you not think he was trying to manipulate you?” 

“Of course I did!” His voice broke again, and Iroh’s heart did the same at the lost, terrified look on his face. “I… I didn’t say it back- I just kind of  _ looked _ at him. And he eventually just walked away.” 

“Even if he didn’t mean it… do you even know how much that meant to me? It meant so much to me that I betrayed him, and I vowed to help you bring him down because I loved him too much to watch him waste away and turn into a true monster.” 

“And that’s why you were so adamant about joining us?” Katara asked quietly. Zuko nodded, wiping his eyes angrily. He was upset with himself. “Even… even when you knew there was a small chance you’d even be accepted? Zuko, how could you put yourself into that position?”

“It’s not like any of you would have cared then. But that’s not what happened, so we don’t need to talk about it.” 

“My Lord,” A guard knocked on the doors to the tea shop, and Zuko stood to open them and let the men inside. Two of his Generals- General Ojing and General Hyung- had accompanied as royal guards. Zuko had then served them tea silently, and the two men looked at each other. 

“Are you alright, Lord Zuko?”

“I’m fine,” he said briskly, “what’s the news?” 

“Earth Governor Shan Yu and Hao have sent their best military officials to retrieve Ozai under the guise of your acceptance.” General Hyung explained quickly. “We were told by Lady Toph’s Dai Li, commendable men, by the way,” he gave a quick compliment to the girl. She nodded in thanks. 

“Have you made any plans to speak with them before they depart?”

“That’s the thing, sire, they’ve already departed. Early morning before the final meetings began.” 

“Does King Kuei know?” 

“He does now. No doubt the Dai Li have informed him of his own Governor’s disobedience.” 

“My lord, I think it would be best if we sent a letter to the council and the wardens to hold Ozai until your final word is brought to paper.” General Ojing jumped in, his face hard. 

“They want me to sign the conformations tomorrow, so I feel as if there’s no point in delaying” Zuko said quietly, “King Kuei wanted to give me time. I’m not sure why, everyone else looked about ready to tear my throat out.”

“Yes… we could see that.” General Hyung cleared his throat, “There’s no end to the intimidation when you come here, my lord. I don’t know how you do it.” 

“I think it’s safe to say Zuko doesn’t crack until there’s diamond-like pressure.” Sokka chuckled, offering his cup back to the firebender who poured him more tea. 

“I’m threatened everywhere I go, Hyung, but thank you for the concern.” He swallowed the last bits of his tea and grimaced at the strong taste. Zuko stared down into his empty cup and the last particles of his tea that stuck to the ceramic. His hands squeezed around it slightly. 

* * *

When Zuko put ink to paper, he’d nearly snapped the brush in half. His hands were shaking so bad, and individual leaders were all bearing down on him. The room had gotten hotter- brazier flames growing higher than the metal confines. It all spelled distressed firebender. 

General Hyung stepped forward from his guarding position and placed a hand on Zuko’s shoulder, the young Firelord finishing signing his name under the scroll deeming Ozai’s transport and the justification of his public execution to take place in the upper ring of Ba Sing Se. He slammed the brush back down next to the ink tablet and stood up abruptly.  _ I can’t breathe _ . Zuko nearly backed into his generals. Ojing took him by the arm and led him out of the room. The other governors and leaders looked on in shock and pity. 

“Honestly, he should be glad.” Governor Rin harrumphed, folding his arms. King Kuei looked concerned. Chief Hakoda seemed troubled but indifferent. Hyung folded his arms behind his back and stood in place of his Firelord. He would not abandon duty, nor would he let them slander their young leader outside of his presence. “His father was a tyrant.”

“Still his father,” Hyung grunted, staring straight forward, refusing to look at him. 

“What was that?” Another asked, confused. 

“Ozai was a cruel, cruel man to his son. But that’s still his father, and our Lord Zuko had more empathy than I thought possible. We’re lucky to have him.” Hyung summarized his time with the Firelord, an awkward, delightful- but clever and strong young man that was hardly prepared for the world’s weight on his shoulders, nor the repercussions of a world that hated him for things out of his control. 

“Yes, we are,” Hakoda agreed. “We can’t forget that he’s still far too young for someone of experience in his position,” Hakoda eyed various governors across the table, and even his own water tribe affiliates. “Dealing with the aftermath of a hundred-year war- especially vying for those who caused it- is taxing, also being the leader of one of the most hated nations in the world, he has to fear for his safety among everything else. I don’t blame him for being upset over this.” 

“What if he was conspiring with Ozai? What if they wish to continue the war?” 

“The boy was nearly murdered by his own father. I doubt he would like to  _ work _ with him.” General Hyung butt in again, giving the man a hard look. “His majesty has been through much- but that doesn’t mean all sincerity has been thrown out the window,” seeing the confused and enraged looks on their faces, Hyung worked quickly to calm them. “Put it this way,” he began, “You are forced to sign a document that says that your son, daughter, mother, father, cousin- who had committed an atrocious crime- will be publicly executed the next day, and you must attend or suffer waning loyalties that you’ve worked so hard to build. How would you act?” 

“I would be furious, and upset.” Hakoda finished for him. “Why would I want to watch someone I was close to be killed?” 

“Firelord Zuko was never ‘close’ with his father, he admitted this!” Governor Kuy cut in, clearly frustrated, “If he’s been treated this way you speak of by his father- there should be no remorse! No sorrow! So why does he mourn for a man who has committed atrocities?!” 

Hyung shrugged, “Family is family. They weren’t close, but Ozai was a constant- albeit… an  _ abusive _ constant-” He faintly remembered the day- the boy, eight years old failed to perform a Kata perfectly and Ozai had snapped his arm. He was the one that took him to the healers and had it set properly, though they never gave him anything for the pain as to not invoke Ozai’s wrath if the boy was loopy. Another, a fire-red burn inflicted on his back in the shape of man’s large handprint, Hyung had taken him to the healers again. Ignoring the stinging glare from the princess all the same. “It’s hard to forget about someone who's always looking over your shoulder. I know that Lord Zuko has always cared greatly for his family, though they never returned that affection-save for Fire Lady Ursa and General Iroh-, he does.” 

“So… he recognizes that they’re terrible, but he still cares about them, though they’ve wronged him.” 

“Yes.” 

“You have been a general for a long time, haven’t you? Have you been there since Ozai’s crowning? You seem to know much of the Royal Family.” 

“I’ve been a General for nearly six decades, before Ozai was crowned. I can say confidently and without shame that Lord Zuko will forever be the perfect role model of what the Fire Nation should be.” 

“I appreciate the flattery, Hyung, but I think we should resume the talks. Have you sent the scrolls?” Ojing appeared behind him, close to the Firelord. Hyung pulled out the chair and resumed position behind him, sparing glances at the guards around the room. 

“Yes, Firelord Zuko. They’ve been sent. I’m sure your father will be inside the capital within the week,” Kuei spared a sympathetic glance at the young lord, who seemed almost distraught at the words. “We’ll let you have words with him before his execution.” 

“Thank you, King Kuei.” His voice was nearly silent. 

* * *

Zuko had been shaking all morning. 

He dressed in light robes, considering how humid the city could get and his increasing temperature due to stress- he feared smelling like sweat and smoke all day. Uncle had forced three cups of calming tea down his throat before he pushed it away and replaced that with the need to get out and wait for his father  _ now _ , but Sokka had calmed him quickly. 

“Zuko, listen,” Sokka grabbed his arms and pulled him close into a hug, “no matter what happens, we’re here for you, okay? You’re not alone.” The Firelord had hugged him back with fervor and clutched the back of his thin blue-cloth shirt. Sokka ran his fingerless-gloved hands through his long hair and encouraged Zuko to breathe slowly. 

“Thank you, Sokka, now- nephew, you must eat, please.”

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep it down, Uncle.” Zuko refused. 

“What? You love my rice porridge!” 

“That wasn’t an insult Uncle! I’m just…” 

“Frazzled.” Katara finished from her tense position on the couch. 

“Yes.” Zuko nodded to her, grateful. Sokka tugged on the ends of his hair and the firebender buried his face into his friend’s chest again, the warrior chuckling. “You give good hugs.” 

“Good to know I can calm the angsty firebender down from a panic attack.” Zuko hummed softly and stepped back, folding his arms.

“Firelord!” General Hyung nearly burst through the paper door, and Zuko yelped, almost pulling out his dao. 

“Agni, Hyung! Don’t  _ do _ that!” 

“My apologies, Firelord- but- your father. He’s arrived. He’s being held temporarily right now, in the holding cells under the palace!” 

“Take me there, now.” 

“Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.” Aang cut off his exit. The Firelord grew nervous and placed a hand on Aang’s arm. He never realized how tall he’d grown until he had to turn his nose up slightly. 

“Please, just let me go. I’ll be back after, I swear. I need to talk to him. I  _ need _ to.” 

“Zuko, you need to have a level head before you go and see him, okay? So just… breathe for a minute.”

“ _ I just did that _ ,” the firebender ground out. “Now let me through!” He pushed his way through Aang- not hard enough to be alarming- but enough to let himself through. Hyung shook his head as the airbender went to follow. 

“It’s best if you let him work through this on his own for now. Later, you can help him heal.” The General looked almost regretful as he turned to follow the Firelord. 

* * *

Zuko stopped right before his father’s cell door, almost hesitant to go inside. The guard beside him gave him a  _ look _ , one that said- ‘try to free him and you’re dead’- though Zuko knew all too well if he really wanted to combat the guard he would win easily. He was no Dai Li, but he was fierce. But Zuko wasn’t thinking of doing that anyway. 

When he pushed into the room, he found his father standing and pacing like a wild animal. His chains, just long enough to let him walk and swing his arms slightly. Zuko closed the door, and that got his attention right away. His hair was greasy and long and his beard was wild. His face was sunken and gaunt- his body was frail while still clinging to muscle. 

He observed Zuko like a man staring at an oasis, then he became angry. He marched up to the Firelord, growling in the back of his throat as he easily overpowered the shocked firebender. He threw Zuko into the wall and cornered him. Reverting to earlier memories, Zuko was caught off guard and froze up, suddenly afraid. 

“Why,” had his voice always been so rough? “Are  _ you _ here?!” He roared. “You signed that paper.  _ You had me sent here! _ ” 

“I had no choice!”

“You have  _ every _ choice! You are the  _ Firelord!” _ Zuko stared up at him. 

“Just because I am Firelord doesn’t mean that everything I say means anything! That’s  _ stupid!” _ His father genuinely looked shocked, then angry. He shoved Zuko into the wall one last time before stalking away to the corner of his cell to resume his pacing. His back began to ache and he wrung his hands together nervously. 

“This is the last time-” his voice broke for the millionth time that week, “This is the last time I’ll get to see you. This is the last time you’ll get to see  _ me _ .” 

“Don’t you think I know that?!” He spat with so much  _ venom _ that Zuko flinched in a way he hadn’t since he was a child. But the way he carried himself was no longer powerful, his broad shoulders hunched, head low. He was ashamed. Zuko composed himself and approached his father again. Ozai looked over at him and sighed, turning fully to face him. He had always been taller than Zuko. Somehow, it became less intimidating. 

Ozai gave Zuko a look that was softened so much he didn’t think that his father could ever achieve that level of father-ness. His hand reached out, always bigger, stronger than him, and tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. 

“I always knew you’d grow to look like your wretched mother. She was beautiful.” Zuko flinched. “And I ruined her.” He didn’t put his hand down, just toyed with the other strands. Zuko let him. He didn’t dare tell him that his mother was still beautiful, that she was still alive and lived out her life with the man she’d been taken from, and had a daughter- his lovely half-sister that he adored. He’d never tell him about Kiyi. 

Zuko slowly inched forward and reached up to wrap him into a hug. He’d never really hugged his father before. It was nothing like Iroh, warm and comforting. This was just… a parting gift, cold and desolate but warming a fire in the empty part of him that was damaged so long ago. He buried his face into his shoulder and tried not to cry. He’d never be able to see him again. He’d watch them kill him and never be able to see him again. 

Zuko wouldn’t admit that he was overjoyed when his father hugged him back. He just squeezed him tighter.

“Let go.”

“No.”

“Zuko.” 

“ _ No _ .” 

Ozai sighed, annoyed. He rubbed his back-  _ this is how you hug someone, yes?- _ and tugged on the ends of his long hair. He found himself squeezing his son back, resting his cheek on his head, holding him fully and wondering how long it had been since he had held him other than a baby boy with a big, loving smile and his cold heart demanding that he spare the poor child the suffering of being a disappointment. He would never go easy on him. 

And yet. He was soft, but according to his guards who preferred to gloat  _ for _ his son, the people loved him. Even other nations. He was a benevolent ruler, always treating people with respect, courtesy, and never ruled with fear. He’d replaced Ozai’s old councilman and a few of the generals, preferring to bring younger people in with a sense of progression. He always aimed for what was best for  _ everyone _ and not just his countrymen. He loved to rub it in Ozai’s face how much more successful Zuko was than him. 

Ozai pulled back slightly and looked down at his son, who stared up at him with a pain in his eyes that he’d refused to look at for all of his nineteen years of life. His skin, pale and fair and the only thing marring it was the large, painstakingly clear scar on the left side of his face. He had bags under his eyes, even noticeable with the scar, and his hair was unkempt. 

He was…  _ distressed _ . 

Ozai, for once,  _ did not smile at his son’s anxiety. _ He frowned, and so unseemingly, brought his hand up to take his chin and look him straight in his bright golden eyes. He was sad, angry, scared- all in one. He was not yelling or screaming- something akin to what he would do if he hadn’t mastered such control. He was just breathing and taking in the last moments he could with his father. 

Zuko  _ chose _ to do this. He wanted to be with him before… before... 

He had a lot of time to think in four years of shady prison.

Ozai had a blank face as he moved to touch his scar. Zuko flinched, pulled his chin back slightly, and shut his eyes tight. It was like he’d forgotten that Ozai was empty, that he had no heat to hurt him with. That he had no heart to break him with. He ran his thumb across the rough patches and wrinkles and wondered how bad it must have hurt, how confused, alone, and agonized he must have been when he woke up already gone. Ozai wondered how much he cried. 

He himself had never been burned this terribly before. He’d never tried it because he wasn’t a fool. 

He felt wetness on his thumb, and it took him seconds to realize that he was crying. 

“Don’t make a fool of yourself.”

“You won’t have the chance to tell anyone how weak I am anymore.” Zuko flinched at his own words. “Let me be sad.” 

“Why? Why are you  _ sad _ ?” 

“You’ll be gone.” 

“Why do you care about what happens to me?”

“You’re my father. You’re a bad person. You’ve done horrible things to innocent people- to me, you hurt me. A lot. You hurt me so much that I wasn’t me anymore. But… an empty part of me still cares about you so much that I had to come here.” 

“Come here and do  _ what? _ ” Ozai asked, exasperated.

“I had to tell you.” 

Ozai dug his thumbnail into Zuko’s scar and the boy flinched, attempting to move away but only being scratched by his father, causing the age-old burn to sting and bleed. Zuko smacked his hand away and buried his face into his chest again. 

“I love you too,” Ozai froze, “and… that night… I don’t care if you didn’t mean it. It meant a lot to me, and it helped me realize that I couldn’t sit back and watch you waste away into a monster. I had to stop you.” 

The would-be Phoenix King bitterly smiled and shook his head. He leaned down and pressed his dry, cracked lips to the scratch that caused him to bleed. He kissed his scar and then his forehead, tugging his hair forcefully. Zuko grimaced. 

_ I’ve had four years to think about that _ . _ To think about everything _ .

“I meant it.” Ozai said, and there was a heavy knock on the door. Zuko was pulled away to join the other leaders with a bloody cheek and a shocked look on his face.

_ Four _ _years_. 

**Author's Note:**

> haha im totally gonna binge atla when it comes out on netflix this year <333333


End file.
